My daughter got a Pretty, Pretty Princess game for Christmas this year. The premise is simple, there is a game board, a spinner, and a bowl full of different color jewelry in the middle. The goal is to go around the game board and gather all the pieces of jewelry in your color: necklace, bracelet, ring, a pair of earrings, and a crown. The first one to have all their jewelry wins.

Me and my husband have played this game with her about two dozen times since she got it, and no exaggeration: she wins every time. She loves it. Dripping in jewelry, her smile is as big as a billboard when she realizes she won; she is the pretty, pretty princess.

There are days, as a parent, that your kids will test you. They will fight each other like they’re trying to draw blood. They will disobey and defy you in ways that will knock you off your feet. And they’ll act out in ways that makes me think at least, “I was NEVER like this as a child.” 

And maybe I wasn’t, but I’m sure in other ways, I was. I can remember plenty of times I got in trouble for talking back, being mean to my brother, or being disrespectful. I can remember plenty of times that I slammed my door as a teen, thinking that would show my parents how angry I was. And I know that my parents still loved me through it, but now I know how they must have felt on the other side of that door.

Currently, as I write this, my one-year-old is “ballerina dancing” on the coffee table to the classical music playing in the room. Her hands are above her head, and she’s making clumsy, wobbly spins with a big, goofy grin. The living room is a mess, a pot of chili is cooling on the kitchen counter from dinner waiting for someone to put it away, and this mama is ready for bedtime.

Nothing is wrong. The kids aren’t misbehaving– except that I’d like the toddler to dance on the floor, not the coffee table– and there is no pressing things that have to be completed in the next hour, but I feel overwhelmed. And a part of me wonders: I wonder if Mary felt this way?

Having children is no joke. They will stretch you, they will challenge you, and they will push you to places mentally, physically, and emotionally that you have never been before.

I think the biggest lesson any parent learns is that everything changes. Nothing about life is designed to stay steady. If you’re a woman, your body changes in order to grow and bring that baby into the world. You gain weight; you find you have more skin, stretch marks, and changes to your body than you ever thought possible. Your body does new things like make milk and pushes the limits of exhaustion during those months and sometimes years that you wake up and settle your children back to sleep.