Currently, as I write this, my one-year-old is “ballerina dancing” on the coffee table to the classical music playing in the room. Her hands are above her head, and she’s making clumsy, wobbly spins with a big, goofy grin. The living room is a mess, a pot of chili is cooling on the kitchen counter from dinner waiting for someone to put it away, and this mama is ready for bedtime.

Nothing is wrong. The kids aren’t misbehaving– except that I’d like the toddler to dance on the floor, not the coffee table– and there is no pressing things that have to be completed in the next hour, but I feel overwhelmed. And a part of me wonders: I wonder if Mary felt this way?

If you’ve been with me since the beginning of this ministry, you’ll know we’ve been doing this for a while. In fact, this August will be the 5 year anniversary of Soul Deep’s launch. Over the years, we’ve been reading and studying together every week– there was a time where we used to post twice a week, too!– which means we’ve gotten together like this through the internet somewhere around 250 times, give or take. You’ll remember that there have been other voices that have shared what God was saying to them, but mine has probably been the most consistent. In fact, consistency is one of my disciplines– maybe at some times, to my detriment– because there have been many times where I’ll be watching TV on a Monday night and say, “I have to write a devo for tomorrow!” or , “I don’t have any ideas of what to post tomorrow.” To which my husband might say, “So take a break. You don’t have to force it. Give it a few days to see if something convicts you enough to write.”But I’m a very strong-willed person, and letting you all wake up on Tuesday morning, excited to read and connect over God's Word only to find an empty inbox, is not something I can easily accept.